Until next time...

7:02 The news
Suddenly I could feel all my bones wake up and all the nerve endings in my body were shooting signals in my brain. An innocent murdered...Sile N'Bhroin...murdered by a Cleak? How foul and unnatural! Sister Sure-she-is turned to me in confusion. "David? What is the matter David?" "I am needed" I breathed. "I must stop him before he attacks another innocent life." "Who do you mean dear? You can't leave the hospital!" I leaped out of bed and grabbed the metal clip board hanging off the end of my bed. A transformation came over me as if I was no longer myself. No! Not David Brutus Casca anymore! "I am and always will be, SKETCHY DAVE THE THIRD, EARL OF WISCONSIN!" Sister Sure-she-is looked so taken back she could hardly stop me. "As long as there is evil in the world than goodness can conquer it, evil can never be destroyed, but it can always always be defeated! And as long as I am standing, bad people will not get away without me having to say something about it! All of my life I wanted to be something worth while, well Sister, now I can be! No one wants to live an ordinary life with ordinary circumstance. And if I have learned anything it is this, when asked whether I could be ordinary and live a safe healthy life, or be extraordinary and defy all obstacles risking death everyday of my life...well I choose death any day of the week. " The Sister looked at me and nodded. She was still and quite, thoughtfully taking in what she had just witnessed. "Than you will just have to stop him, and all evil doers. Good luck, and always remember who you are...who you were always meant to be. SKETCHY DAVE THE THIRD, EARL OF WISCONSIN!"

1-5

5:00PM The white room
Ha ha ha ha, never fear bloggers, I didn't die, I mean really KILL MYSELF, KILL MYSELF? How unoriginal! No turns out I really wasn't on top of castle apartments, I got lost and was found on a stair master knocked out, apparently from a falling lamp...I have been in the hospital for about 5 hours now, well that is what the clock says anyway, considering I arrived at 1 o'clock in the afternoon, and the clock now says 5. Now, I wouldn't mention this except the numbers 5 and 1 have been coming up a lot since I have been in the hospital. I wonder for example I am in the 1rst room on the 5th floor, and I have been seen by Five people of medicine, but have only been visited by one person of the non medical stature, Sister Sure-she-is of course! And my life well...tis but a walking shadow, a poor player that struts and frets his hour upon the stage and then is heard no more...
7:00 pm
A very nice nurse, (who I am almost positive diggs me) turned the television on for me to watch. I had already had a good cry, I learned that my name is David today, David Brutus Casca the first. I am from England, and I have never once been to Wisconsin. When I was little my twin sister drowned, and I was apparently not the same ever since. The doctor thinks trauma and the imagination has caused my so called hallucinations. To be honest bloggers, I miss them...all I have wanted to do was help people, and all my helping was a lie the doctors think I could hurt myself or others when I am Sketchy Dave, and the pills they are making me take are not invisibility pills, but are to put an end to my silly imaginings. I would never be a hero, who wants that? All I wanted was to help people as a gentleman nothing more. When I looked up at the television I saw that the news was on, hmm nothing interesting except...

My brush with DEATH

I raced away from castle apartments from the nunnery, from myself. Oh angels and ministers of grace defend me! Rain began to bounce off my skin and soak into my shoes. A sudden idea flew into my head like a fly into a light bulb. I didn't have to live in shame. I can live in honor, I will sacrifice myself as the Romans did with pomp and with triumph! I immediately turned back toward castle apartments, and if all went well, I who ever I am would never return.

I began to climb the stair to the roof of castle apartments, and one by one they came, never running out quickly enough. (I took the stairs because elevators are for the weak!)  I began to see the top of the stair as my legs were just about to give out. when I pushed open the door to the roof, I ran to the edge. I t just wasn't fair I didn't understand...why? "Thy life hath had some smatch of honour in it!" I screamed at the roaring thunder as it boomed back at me in defiance. I climbed up onto the railing meant to protect people like me, I sighed and breathed in just about to leap. "I kill'd not thee with half so good a will." I whispered and then...I was hit by lightening.

OCCUPY and ,Significant storms, lightening, thunder, skies are in turmoil. Caused by an offshore hurricane.

I awoke this morning to distance cries of my people...crying out, free the cheese! Don't enslave our cheddar! Let my Parmesan go! It was horrible I tell you horrible! but then suddenly out of the darkness I saw it...a strange light a white light that could defy even the creamiest of mozzarellas. Yes finally its here! yes I could see him clearly now! In his holy name..."CHEESUS!" I cried out! (of course he was holy so really he was swiss Cheesus) I tossed and turned until I woke with a start "HOLY HAVARTI!" I screamed. I opened my eyes to the soft touch of the Sister Sure-she-is. "Are you quite alright?" She asked. "If I am its only due to your tender loving care." I replied. I then attempted my best try at a good smolder, but found that my manly mojo was tuned out by the purity that is Sister Sure-she-is. "Come with me, I want to show you something" she said tenderly taking my hand. " The woman led me to a the doors leading to the outside. "I don't understand sister, what is it that you  are trying to tell me?" She put her finger to her lips in order to shush me. She then placed her hand against the wood. The door creaked open revealing a crowd of shouting people carrying signs. "OCCUPY!" they all shouted, "OCCUPY!". "What is this?" I asked, "Why do you show me this?". "This is the real world, these are the struggles of real people, none of these struggles I am sorry to say...involve cheese..."
she looked out at the sky which was suddenly turning gloomy. "What do you mean?", I demanded, are you saying my people aren't real, I am standing before you aren't I? I havn't been taking my invisibility medicine or anything!" I tear began to role down her face, "No, Wisconsin exists, although it probably won't for long, because it has no real use, but its not your Wisconsin, it is not in danger of evil spies, and you...you are not its Earl...Wisconsin...has no Earl..." a large lump began to develop inside of my throat, she was wrong, she had to be wrong. I am a hero, a gentleman, a knight! No evil can outwit me! When maidens cry I am there to save them, when evil strikes, I am there to strike back! INCONCEIVABLE! "I am so sorry to have told you this, we really didn't want to, but you are the truest and most noble heart to ever walk through our doors, I will miss The Earl of Wisconsin very much...very much..." I could not breath, my sobs began to over come me. The sky mimicked his feelings as the darkness opened up as lightening lit up the sky, and the mourning thunder howled after it. Maybe it was a trick maybe she works for the evil spies, maybe I don't exist at all! "WHO AM I?" I began to race fervently through the crowd. I grabbed one of the protesters and looked him in the eye, it was a young man with the tiny little blooming of facial hair upon him. "Do you know who I am? I am the Earl of Wisconsin! I am he that fights for freedom and love and most of all CHEESE! I pray you sir, do you know me?" The young man shook his head his pasty white skin going even whiter as his his face twisted with confusion. "Dude cut back." He held his hands up in a defensive manner "I'm just here for the camping." He didn't know me, no one did. how could this be? I preceded to run as fast as I could towards the last chance to save my honor, as a gentleman and an Earl, my entire quest was a sham, I must do what is right to make up for this heinous crime to the world...It was then I knew what I must do, I must sacrifice myself as Brutus did, in the name of doing what is right. So there I went bloggers...to my salvation...to my death.

I'm going on a trip...a real long trip....

"Today is the first day of the rest of your life." said the travel agent in a boring monotone that reflected his own need for a vacation. "I WANT TO GO TO WISCONSIN!!!! WHAT PART OF THAT DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND?" Sigh...oh excuse me bloggers, I am so tired of being undercover you must understand. I am tired! I miss my home and the open fresh air, I miss the loving touch of Lady Sketchy Dave the third the Earl of Wisconsin. I miss her uni-brow and the sweet smell of her tuchus in the early morn! Alas! that sweet tuchus! oh how I miss its robustness that can only be compared to that of the smiling sun! I miss the strawberries, oh do you remember the strawberries! That's it!! I'm leaving! its time yes...I have taken the Hero's journey, and I will throw myself into the fiery pits of hell before I quit now! OH YES! Oh yes! I will! I will gather an army that will destroy all of Castle apartments! I will no longer hide from my adversaries, but rise up to meet them! First! They are like ants! Oh yes they all are! ...Ah, how shall I do it? Oh, I know. I'll turn him into a flea, a harmless, little flea, and then I'll put that flea in a box, and then I'll put that box inside of another box, and then I'll mail that box to myself, and when it arrives... I'll smash it with a hammer! It's brilliant, brilliant, brilliant, I tell you! Genius, I say! MUHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!!!!!!! (Travel agent clears throat) "Um...are you gonna buy anything?...cause you're on the clock."
I walked outside to a woman on the curve, so reminded me of Lady Sketch, (not Shaniqua who ignored all my woos, but the fat one that I left in Wisconsin...and when I say fat I really mean PHAT...cause home girl is fine) She was speaking in the phone with someone, a lover? "The Grand Canyon? But why?"she inquired into the phone. She looked up at me clearly frightened by my good looks. I looked down ata key chain that dangled from her purse, it was pink and had the words Spring P carved into the wood.Well who ever you are I hope you do not get destroyed in my evil plans.
 PS. I bailed on the evil plan, it turns out evil is just not my style. As Sister Pure-enough always tells me:there are better ways to cure homesickness than destroying a city.

Flight of the Rock Star

8:00 pm Isabella's
I walked into what appeared to be a friendly place with a very distinct smell...well actually it wasn't really friendly at all. it was full of bikers and hoodlums! Any way I felt that I was in a safe place, away from any one who could possibly follow me. The clangs of bottles rang through the air as the fog of cigarette smoke thickened through its own travel. "May I have some milk please, with extra cream, and a side of cheese please?" An angry looking man wearing a beret' and several tattoos grumbled said, "You tryin to be funny boy?" "Certainly not!" I replied "Good dairy is nothing to jest about!" he eyed be curiously and laughed "HA HA, well thas' a mighty odd accent yer got ther but a recon yeh fit right in. Welcome to Isabella's Cafe! My name is Filthy McNasty but some people like to call me Strange Pier on account of this here beret' I like to wear. Have a man's drink ye jokester and feel yer inner parts burn!" I thanked the man kindly and took the brown liquid he handed me, I decided to leave it on the bar and come back to it, after a little investigation my surroundings I gasped to see woman wearing very little clothing dancing around men in the bar like harlots on on vacation! I eventually went back to my drink in order to avoid being rude to my new found friend. I took a swig and started to feel my inner parts burn when a strange sensation came over me. I feel as if I could do anything! Why I could even fly! By this time my brain felt extremely fuzzy, as if it were working at lightening speed! I should really fly! I know I could by George! I then proceeded to mount the bar, and stretch my wings out as far as I possibly could! It twas brilliantly done! I could feel my innards burning for more! Suddenly a man in far too many scarves and sparkles stood up. Several people turned their heads in excitement but not at me, the man seemed to be a famous knight of some sort. "Pink Floyd I love you!" one of the indecent whores shouted. The sparkly man approached me. "You look like a dumb ass, Get down." he looked like a ghostly angel full of sound and fury. "Your orange face does not scare me fellow!" I yelled.  "Just get down Jack Ass." he reached out his hand, this Ghostly figure was so fabulously dressed I was sure he must be an apparition. "Come to me oh mighty spirit!, Envelope me in your snappy fashion and cool laid back demeanor. Lord Don't fail me now!" I leaped through the air and I swear it was as if all the beauty in the world could not describe that moment "SAVE ME SPARKLY JESUS!" Screams rang out everywhere...that's about all I can remember, for I fear the fabulous spirit did not save me...or make me fly. Perhaps I will not drink from cups made by bar men wearing berets.

A flash from the Past

“David…Daaaavvvvviiiiiiddd….DAVID!”  her voice was as clear as the wine glass she nursed. “David be a dear and hand me that novella from the parlor.” The what? “From the parlor dear you can do it.” Doesn’t she know that I can do it? I can do anything, anything, except everything. “QUICKLY now dear I HAVN’T GOT ALL NIGHT!” The harshness of her voice was alarming, yet appropriate.  All the ‘dears’ mushing together like Nana’s oatmeal breakfast. MUST I? What could a little boy want to have to do with a bunch of silly books? “The Man of La Mancha, yes that one darling, I’m so glad you could figure it out.” The smell of old book added to the distinctive rustle of the crumpled yellowed pages. At least she’ll spend time with me this way…even if it is better when she’s not spending time with me at all. “Lets get this over and done with, so mummy can go meet with her special friend.” Which one? “Once upon a time…” I wish I really could be like Don Quixote. He does what’s right even when other kids call him crazy, when I grow up I want to be just like him, then EVERYONE would listen to me! Why, he’s a knight of the woeful countenance…of woeful countenance…woeful countenance…countenance….countenance…(Thoughts echo about his my head).

AHHHH! I woke with a start on the following morning having had the strangest of dreams. I leaned over and twiddled with the paperweight next to my bed, one of the nuns had given it me for the celebration of Twelfth Night. It was a tiny windmill. very sinister, yet comforting. Sketchy Dave could certainly conquer a windmill… oh yes…at least that much I know to be true.

Eye Witness Walking down the Street Near Sherwood Park...at Twilight

It's a misty miosty evening on the day of today 24th. I decided to expand my present search for the heathen stalkers in a place that is not only cheery, but won't aggravate my hobo allergies, there are far too many hobos in the area, they are simply the most scatter brained organisms I have ever encountered. One day I encountered one that spoke a peculiar kind of language, this man wore pants far too large for my taste and had something he liked to call a "doo rag" round his head. He then spoke to me saying..."where all da hoes at?" assuming this man was not from the cheesy wonderland known as my beloved Wisconsin, I decided to take pity on the man. "Would you like a little snack my dear boy?" I exclaimed. "Real Talk! who dis foo, tryin tell me? WHERE DA HOWS AT?" I then replied "Or perhaps a nice stuffed penguin named Casca or even a chocolate protein muffin, doesn't that sound delicious!" Now the man seemed unnerved by this and flashed his gold teeth at me with a crude glare. "MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNN dis bitch is wak!" The man then preceded   to leat me in the dust! I was going to offer him a perfectly good childs toy and a nutritious snack! The nerve of this man! So what could I do! I enforced the Wisconsin way! I threw my gantlet down! "Hazah! my friend! HAZAH! you have cut my heart in twain! HOW DARE YOU REFUSE MY SWEET NOTHINGS! Have at thee HOBO!" before I could get at the smooth talking devil man however, I heard a loud CRACK! and then a BANG! I turned my head to find too other men engaging in combat (well at least they appeared to be men you can never be sure in a  obscure and racy town such as this! Although I never judge, I truly believe men and women can do what ever they like, whenever they like...as long as they keep that party far away from me) NOW IT'S A PARTY! I decided to cheer one of them on as the confused hobo on my left shouted something queer in his native language. "HOLD UP, ITS DA POE POE. ROLL OUT!" and he ran away....very strange. The other two men continued to quarrel until the clearly superior of the two punched the other in the stomach taking his effects and running away. This seemed mighty unsports-man like to me but I congratulated him nonetheless. It wasn't until shiny bright lights began to go off in my head that I deduced something fairly fishy going on. I needed my cape. I didn't feel nearly sneaky enough. perhaps I will view the rest of the scene from this here TREEEEEEEEE!!! oh dear....I think this place is getting to me. More later bloggers! SKETCHY DAVE THE THIRD ROLL OUT!