"Today is the first day of the rest of your life." said the travel agent in a boring monotone that reflected his own need for a vacation. "I WANT TO GO TO WISCONSIN!!!! WHAT PART OF THAT DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND?" Sigh...oh excuse me bloggers, I am so tired of being undercover you must understand. I am tired! I miss my home and the open fresh air, I miss the loving touch of Lady Sketchy Dave the third the Earl of Wisconsin. I miss her uni-brow and the sweet smell of her tuchus in the early morn! Alas! that sweet tuchus! oh how I miss its robustness that can only be compared to that of the smiling sun! I miss the strawberries, oh do you remember the strawberries! That's it!! I'm leaving! its time yes...I have taken the Hero's journey, and I will throw myself into the fiery pits of hell before I quit now! OH YES! Oh yes! I will! I will gather an army that will destroy all of Castle apartments! I will no longer hide from my adversaries, but rise up to meet them! First! They are like ants! Oh yes they all are! ...Ah, how shall I do it? Oh, I know. I'll turn him into a flea, a harmless, little flea, and then I'll put that flea in a box, and then I'll put that box inside of another box, and then I'll mail that box to myself, and when it arrives... I'll smash it with a hammer! It's brilliant, brilliant, brilliant, I tell you! Genius, I say! MUHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!!!!!!! (Travel agent clears throat) "Um...are you gonna buy anything?...cause you're on the clock."
I walked outside to a woman on the curve, so reminded me of Lady Sketch, (not Shaniqua who ignored all my woos, but the fat one that I left in Wisconsin...and when I say fat I really mean PHAT...cause home girl is fine) She was speaking in the phone with someone, a lover? "The Grand Canyon? But why?"she inquired into the phone. She looked up at me clearly frightened by my good looks. I looked down ata key chain that dangled from her purse, it was pink and had the words Spring P carved into the wood.Well who ever you are I hope you do not get destroyed in my evil plans.
PS. I bailed on the evil plan, it turns out evil is just not my style. As Sister Pure-enough always tells me:there are better ways to cure homesickness than destroying a city.
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